My recent post about removing the words “tired” and “busy” from my vocabulary generated a lot of discussion. Some people thought it was a terrific idea. Some were worried that they might not make the cut and would be subject to a blunt reason why I didn’t want to hang out, rather than being “busy”. And my roommates just wanted to trick me into saying one of the words. Well today I want to remove another word from my vocabulary, as well as a general theme from my conversations.
A story
Once again we are going to start with a story. On Wednesday I was sitting at my desk at work and had to listen to the same conversation several times. Usually when this happens to me it is because a very good friend has a hilarious story that has to be shared every time we hang out with someone new. That I don’t mind, but the story repetitively told at work was not something I wanted to hear while attempting to focus.
What was the conversation?
One of my colleagues started doing Crossfit, the daily total body workouts posted on the internet. It really gave him something to talk about with the other people in the office who do Crossfit. Unfortunately he talked to them one at a time and I had to listen each time. Once distracted from my work, my mind began to wander …
Removing the word “sore”
I realized something that day – no one really cares to hear about how sore you are because of the awesome workout you did. That is not exciting and should never come out of your mouth. There are two possible reasons you could be using that word: either as an excuse or to show how hardcore you are. Neither is a good reason.
No longer talking about workouts?
My friend Preston is jacked. He heads to the gym at an ungodly hour every morning to lift heavy weights with insane intensity. But he rarely talks about his workouts – he is more likely to talk about the yogalaties class going on at the same time. If he doesn’t talk about those impressive workouts, I have no reason to talk about whatever light weights I’m lifting.
Conclusion
You get value out of working out by feeling better, looking better, and living longer. You don’t need any social validation that you are indeed working hard and a badass. People that need social validation are weak – are you weak?
To explain going to bed early or taking a nap, I have used “underslept” rather than “tired”. This works well because it is a fact rather than feeling.
Photo: Greg Westfall
Outstanding post once again Brian. And @PrestonR is indeed jacked and a great human.
Any other word candidates for removal?
Here here Preston!
I agree with the point about social validation and have used the following examples in making similar arguments to my friends:
Example 1: The Christian Identification.
I was never big on “outreach” or the idea the idea that Christians need to “save” Non-Christians. I don’t believe that my position in any sort of afterlife is determined by the number of people I convert to my religion. Instead, the message that hit home with me was to live your life in such a way that people could identify you as a Christian without you ever proclaiming it. I think back to this message a lot when I hear someone referred to as “very religious.” Of course an incredible spectrum of “religious” exists, but I greatly prefer the ones who actually live it to the ones who just advertise it.
Example 2: The Girly Conversation (since Pedantic Posts is lacking in these!)
I’ve noticed a pattern amongst the less secure girls I am friends with of announcing EVERY TIME a guy hits on them. It’s as if broadcasting any compliment from a guy somehow gives the girl more status or value in the eyes of her female peers. More often than not, this behavior is exhibited by the girls who blossomed late and might still feel they have something to prove in terms of how desired they are by the opposite sex. It all seems pretty odd and insecure to me. Does the same occur amongst guys?
I should have an award show for the best comments of the year. This is nominated.
I suppose something similar happens for guys, where they want to talk about their success with women. The difference is getting a compliment is not something worth bragging about …