Most of us growing up in the Unites States have learned that hitchhiking is dangerous. Don’t attempt it and certainly don’t pick up someone on the side of the road with their thumb out. There is a pretty good Freakonomic radio podcast with some insights into why we all share this belief.
But now that I am in New Zealand, with the new culture comes a new mindset about hitchhiking. It’s fairly common in the south island and has been the primary way I have been getting around for the last month (but don’t tell my Mom since not everyone has adjusted their mindset yet). What have I learned through this experience?
- What we all accept as truth can and should be questioned. This is an excellent time to cite the oh-so-interesting monkey, banana, and water spray experiment.
- Both kiwis and other travelers pick up hitchhikers. In my limited experience the drivers have ranged from age 19 to 86. This tells me that its not just a narrow set of people that don’t know they aren’t supposed to pick up hitchhikers – anyone can recondition themselves to match the environment.
- People are interesting. So many of our conversations with strangers consist of smalltalk – well what if you were in a car with a stranger for 90 minutes? And silence isn’t an option, the main reason people pick up hitchhikers is for someone to talk to, so you better deliver. I’ve found that I have learned much about various countries around the world through these conversations. I’ve also found that these connections are pleasant surprises that would not be possible with an itinerary chock-full of tourist activities.
- The most important take away is that it has pushed comfort zone socially. It’s good to push your comfort zone in life – that’s how we achieve bigger and better things. I am not used to asking favors of strangers – anything beyond asking for the time or if they can take a picture. And then I found myself approaching strangers pumping gas to see if I could get a ride with them. I found myself low on energy talking about United States politics and thinking up unique questions about their home (if you must know, on my hitchhiking days I am generally dehydrated so I don’t have to make them stop for pee breaks all the time, thus the low energy). And I’m stronger for it. And to keep the growth going, I may do the rejection therapy challenge when I get back stateside.
Anyone out there have some other takeaways to suggest or awesome hitchhiking stories?
Photo: Frank Farm
how would you compare the hitchhiking experience to other ways you meet strangers while traveling alone (buses, hostels, rando guided trekking etc)? seems like the higher trust/vulnerability level might be an interesting twist. or maybe not?
Jimbo, getting on the conversation, I love it! I would rate the hitchhiking connections as better than the other various ways I have met strangers while traveling alone. However, this may be somewhat unique to New Zealand and maybe even just the south island of NZ, so take it with a grain of salt.
Two immediate thoughts come to mind to support this belief. The first is the length of the conversation. When chatting with someone in the hostel or at a coffee shop they are usually short, 5-10 minute convos. As a result of the great distances covered by car while hitching, my rides last anywhere from 30 minutes to two hours, resulting in much deeper conversations than the casual “where you from, how long you traveling”. My second thought is the forced nature of conversation at this time. On a bus, hike or anywhere else you are stuffed in with strangers, it is perfectly normal and expected to have long breaks without talking. As a hitchhiker you are expected to counteract the monotony of a long drive, providing a distraction or even entertainment for the others in the car.
You may be on to something with the trust/vulnerability observation. There is a certain comfort present when you are invited into someone’s private space – the host is more open than they are in public. Thought experiment: which situation are you more likely to have a stronger connection. 1) Meeting a stranger on the sidewalk outside your house for a 5 minute conversation OR 2) Meeting the same person for a 5 minute conversation but taking them into your house and sitting on your couch. (Yes, asking someone inside you don’t know would be weird, but this is a thought experiment, it doesn’t have to be practical!)
The first time I hitch-hiked was truly an educational experience. I was with a female (Erin May… wonderful girl) and it was both of our first times for such blatant disregard for common sense. We made our way to the exit route for the city, some city in New Zealand that I can’t remember, and keep in mind that there are only a handful of ways out of any given city. Maybe 2, or 3. All different directions.
Anyway – We were waiting and were terrified of who might pick us up. After about 5 minutes of waiting… a small SUV pulled over and honked their horn. We grabbed our bags and ran up in baited, albeit nervous, anticipation. Two ~65 year-old women sat in the front seats and welcomed us aboard. There was a period of 5 minutes of incredibly awkward semi-silence while we felt each other out and there it was from the driver “So… well… umm… this is our first time and uh… you’re not going to kill us or anything, are you?”
We were both thinking the exact same thing! From then on the ride was wonderful and we shared numerous stories. They even took us to a couple places off the beaten path that there is no way we would have seen. We never thought about hitch-hiking again and even picked up quite a few along the way when we had the resources… but that’s another story.
As you know, it was your glowing recommendation of hitching in NZ that got me thinking about it. I probably wouldn’t have had all these great experiences otherwise (and would have spent hundreds of dollars on bus fares). My only disappointment is that I was never offered a place to stay out of it as you and other travelers have reported …