Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

I hope everyone is enjoying their holidays, or in the very least their time off. My apologies for not writing any interesting new posts for you – I have 3 partials patiently awaiting my attention, but they aren’t quite ready. I have been distracted, but will have time in the next few days.

What have I been doing? Well obviously spending time with my family. But my computer time has been spent on a coding project involving your favorite social media sites. More on that to come later …

I got a Kindle for Christmas, so expect even faster additions to my Book List.

And finally, the first weekly Pedantic Post email will be sent early tomorrow morning. Be sure to sign up on the right to get the email updates.

Photo: Nina Matthews

Join the Pedantic Posts Mailing List

As I promised on my birthday, I created a mailing list to let Pedantic Post readers know about the latest posts. Don’t worry, this isn’t a spam machine – emails will be sent weekly containing links to the past week’s full articles. You can unsubscribe at any time.

Why sign up for email updates? So you don’t miss any of the action! This is a convenient alternative to daily visiting pedanticposts.com to see if there were any updates.

To sign up, simply enter your email address in the “Mailing List” section on the upper right.


Photo: Ed Siasoco

The Beauty of “Cellar Door” and Awkwardness of “Gang”

Isn’t “cellar door” the most beautiful combination of words that have ever existed in the English language? Don’t tell me you haven’t thought about this before!

The cult classic film Donnie Darko introduced this concept to many of us; that the phrase “cellar door” is thought to be the one of, if not the, most beautiful sounding phrases in English (independent of the meaning). But of course this idea predates the 2001 movie. So where did this idea come from and who thinks about this stuff?

No one knows who first discovered the beauty in “cellar door.” Over the last hundred years it has popped up all over the place – it’s difficult to tell if each author thought of the idea themselves, or if the phrase was already commonly known. We do know that the first written use came in a 1903 novel with a character who “grew to like sounds unassociated with their meaning.” But the idea is believed to significantly predate this forgotten novel.

It has been said that “cellar door” was Edgar Allan Poe’s favorite phrase, and the word “Nevermore” in The Raven was used because of its similar sound. Was he possibly the originator? Doubtful. It looks the origin is going to have to stay a mystery…

The reason “cellar door” is used as an example of the most beautiful words in English isn’t because it objectively sounds better than any other words. It’s because its beautiful sound is in such stark contrast to its actual meaning. A cellar door is an ugly object and a perfect word.

What are some other examples of dissimilarity between meaning and sound? One that I can remember discussing on the school bus as a youngster is “gang”. Gangs are incredibly intimidating and are made up of scary men. Say the word gang five times. G-aaaaaaa-ng. Not so scary now, are they?


Who out there is now going to name their daughter Selladore? (Actually used as a non-fiction character name.)
 
Sources:

My First Birthday Post, Blogs, and a Birthday Favor

Today I turned 25. A quarter century. Wow. Not that old in the grand scheme of things, but I think at some point I am no longer a kid right? But enough of those thoughts, let’s worry about that later.

I have been blogging for 8 months now, my how time flies. But it sure is a time consuming, is this how I want to spend my limited time on this planet? People ask “Brian, you strive for efficiency everywhere else in your life, why waste so much time on Pedantic Posts?” After 61 posts it is time to reflect upon the experience and why I continue to post my thoughts for the world (hint: the favor is related). I suppose as you get old you reflect on the past and why you do the things that you do …

Many articles have been written on the benefits of blogging. I don’t want to go into the many aspects, but here is a concise post to use as a starting point. Just like being a vegetarian* there are so many reasons it is hard to pick just one. They are all obvious to me now and each contribute, but when someone asks the simple question of why, it is difficult to talk about one reason over the others.

Well tonight I finally put my finger on one reason that I can point to above all the others for why I invest my time in this blog. Connection and community. In the world of cookie cutter social networks of “friends”, I want a place where I can communicate on my own terms, where my friends, acquaintances, and complete strangers can come together and be a little nerdy with me. In Seth Godin lingo, I desire to have a tribe.

Keep reading…

My Book List is Finally Published

The most loyal Pedantic Post readers have been clamoring for me to publish my reading list rather than the “coming soon” page that held the spot. I have been keeping track of the books I have read over the last two years in a Google doc, awaiting for the day that I would finally share it with the world. Well here it is.

But first some thoughts. I have been reading way more than I expected – roughly a book and a half a month. The current total is 39 books broken down into 1 digital (iPhone), 3 audio, and 35 physical. And I expect my pace will only increase from here, especially if I get that Kindle for Christmas (*hint hint*).

In the most recent months I have also been keeping track of the words for which I look up the definition. I have my iPhone on me at all times and it is fairly easy to look up a definition in the dictionary app and copy it over to the notepad. If you do end up taking a peak at the word lists, please ignore the few rather elementary words. I swear I was just looking them up because I was curious of the exact definition.

I have considered keeping a list of notes or writing some final thoughts about each book I read. Do you have any other ideas?


 
I noticed that I looked up the word garrulous (full of trivial conversation) in both Titan and Starting Something. In my defense, I came across it first in Titan and you can’t expect me to memorize all the four dollar words in that tome.
 

Photo: Wonderlane

The Successful Business Strategy of Poor Customer Service

Are you a jerk? Well it just might land you a job, or better yet, you can start your own company with offensive customer service as a central tenet. Sure sounds like a fast track to bankruptcy, but that’s where you’re wrong. Not only can it be a positive for your company, it can be your entire marketing department!

The first business that comes to mind for intentionally poor customer service is Dick’s Last Resort – a small chain of restaurants with rude, vulgar, and downright offensive waiters. Apparently people like being treated like shit – the owners initially opened a standard fine-dining restaurant that quickly went bankrupt. But with the strategy of setting themselves apart by being the sloppiest (hopefully not in the kitchen though) and with the worst servers you can imagine (in rudeness, not wait time) they have turned into a successful business.

That example was obvious. Everyone that goes to Dick’s knows their intentionally offensive customer service and goes for a good laugh. This next example masquerades as a regular old eyeglasses company, but you sure don’t want to talk with them on the phone. They take “any publicity is good publicity” literally – if they offend you enough to tell others, that’s a job well done!

A highly entertaining New York Times article explains the business strategy of DecorMyEyes: if a customer calls to dispute a transaction, give them hell! They are trying to cheat you out of your hard earned money! Exactly the opposite of “the customer is always right.” And apparently disputes happen all the time when your business is taking orders of high-end glasses and then ordering them on eBay or directly from France.

So how is this strategy a success? Keep reading …

Catch-22: Hobson’s Choice, Buridan’s Ass, or Morton’s Fork?

You caught me, that is not exactly a catch-22. The definition of each:

Hobson’s Choice: a situation where you have a free choice, but only one option is offered. You can either take it or leave it. This is named after a stable owner in the 1500’s by the name of Thomas Hobson wanted to make sure that all 40 of his horses were being worked equally. Instead of letting his customers pick their horse to ride, he offered them the horse in the stall nearest the door or no horse at all.

Buridan’s Ass: Buridan’s ass is when you find yourself in a difficult decision between two equally appealing options – the decision making process is so slow you would be better off just picking one. Let’s assume an ass will always go eat the hay closest to him. In our fictional scenario an ass walks into a barn and finds himself equidistant between two identical bales of hay. Unable to make a decision which hay to eat, the ass remains in the same spot and starves to death. This one is named after 14th century philosopher Jean Buridan (although Aristotle wrote about it first) and is often quoted to exhibit the folly of politicians.

Morton’s Fork: the opposite of Buridan’s ass is Morton’s fork (obviously right? no duh). This is when you are forced to decide between two equally unpleasant options. Between a rock and a hard place. Wikipedia’s history lesson: the expression originates from a policy of tax collection devised by John Morton, Lord Chancellor of England in 1487, under the rule of Henry VII. His approach was that if the subject lived in luxury and had clearly spent a lot of money on himself, he obviously had sufficient income to spare for the king. Alternatively, if the subject lived frugally, and showed no sign of being wealthy, he must have substantial savings and could therefore afford to give it to the king. These arguments were the two prongs of the fork and regardless of whether the subject was rich or poor, he did not have a favorable choice.

Keep reading …

Would You Rather Have a Bottle of Water or a Jacuzzi of Tap Water

One dollar for a bottle of water out of a vending machine doesn’t sound like such a bad deal – it’s only a dollar! But what about compared to the price of tap water? Can you really justify the price differential?

Here is an excerpt of an article by GE Miller at 20SomethingFinance.com comparing tap water and bottled water:

“I recently got curious as to how much tap water I was actually consuming, which led me to doing this cost comparison. I discovered that my city provides an online water usage rundown. My city water bills measure water usage in CCF’s. What is CCF? It’s a unit measurement of water that is equivalent to 100 cubic feet of water. Distilling that down to units we can all relate to:

* 1 CCF = 748 gallons of water
* 748 gallons of water = 95,744 ounces of water
* 95,744 ounces = 4,787 bottles of water
* Basically, 1 CCF = 4,787 bottles of water
* What does 1 CCF cost? $2.10!

That’s right – 4,787 bottled waters could be filled with tap water for $2.10! So every time you buy a bottle of water for $1, you are paying 2,279 times what you would if you filled that same bottle with tap water.

If most of what you drink is bottled water, assuming you drink 64 oz. of water per day, you’d consume a little under 3 – 20 oz. bottles of water per day. Those 3 bottles per day would cost you $3/day or $1,095 per year. That same 1,095 bottles filled with tap water would cost you $0.48 PER YEAR. Another way to look at it is that as soon as you buy your first bottle of water, you’ve already spent double what you would for an ENTIRE YEAR of tap water. Wow.”

A four or five person jacuzzi of tap water is roughly the equivalent price as the vending machine water. Let’s be practical here, which would you rather have?


Photo: Peter Baker

A News Source That Exclusively Follows Up On Old Stories

There are thousands of news sources out there, all reporting on roughly the same news with their own slant. Sure, some are specialized like financial news sources, but all financial news sources are still reporting on the same events. If there are so many television channels, websites, radio shows, and newspapers all devoted to the same news, it must be worthwhile to add a new one with a slightly different twist.

As I researched posts for this website, it has become obvious that the same trendy stories run within a few days of each other on multiple news websites. If the story runs at the same time, they all report the same information. Even worse, since they already reported the story, they don’t revisit it again – they don’t update the information as time goes on. Doesn’t anybody notice this? I feel like I’m taking crazy pills! Here is my idea: a news website that tracks these trendy news stories and provides updates in the following months and years. A cross between the real-time information of the internet age and “where are they now” (which everyone loves).

Let me provide some examples to reinforce the value of this “new old news” website (I am going to have to trademark that term). I posted about some places in Europe linking speeding ticket fines to the driver’s wealth. If you do a google search for this information, the majority of the results fall between January 7th and 12th 2010. Are more people receiving outrageous tickets? What is the current record ticket amount? Outsourcing drive thru – March 2005 and April 2006. How did those experiments work out? Did they expand the program or shut it down? Smoking two year old – May 27th, 2010 and November 5, 2010. Is this the last we will here about him? Does he have emphysema yet?

Stories change over time – they are alive. The stale information on news websites quickly becomes dated. We need a news service that is committed to keeping tabs on these old stories so that we always have the latest information. Will you create this for me?


I have been thinking about this idea for a while now, but hadn’t put my thoughts down on the web (or paper). It was recently brought to the front of my mind when I was looking through the search engine traffic that brings people to Pedantic Posts. One was for “outsourcing drive thru 2010” – exactly what this idea is all about!
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Photo: ShironekoEuro

Bear Grylls – All That Is Man

Bear eating fish

Bear Grylls is a man’s man. He makes your annual camping trip look like a luxurious stay at a five star hotel. He makes the TV show Survivor look like a bunch of cry babies on a rough vacation. And he makes any meal that is cooked seem extravagant.

Bear is famous for his TV show Man vs. Wild which drops him into various remote wilderness survival situations – Grylls must overcome various obstacles as he fights his way back to civilization. However the show, and Bear Grylls, receives flak for staging certain events and misleading the audience into believing Bear receives no assistance from his crew. I am not going to argue that the show is 100% accurate, or try to assess how difficult the stunts are. Instead, I will point to real elements from Bear Grylls’s life that exemplify his manliness.

After college Bear Grylls joined the British Army and was selected for the uber-competitive British Special Forces as a paratrooper. How bad ass is he for getting in? They start with around 200 top notch candidates and after intense physical training for a couple weeks, only 30 to 40 remain. Next comes jungle training (where Bear likely picked up a lot of his skills on the show), combat survival, escape and evasion, and the dreaded resistance to interrogation (which lasts for a loooong 36 hours). Everyone that makes it to the end is rewarded with a favorable transfer, but only the best are allowed in the Special Forces. Bear Grylls was reportedly one of four in his class selected.

His life doesn’t get much easier from here. In 1996 his parachute ripped on a routine jump, sending him crashing to the ground with tremendous speed. He landed on his pack and the result was 3 crushed vertebrae – it was initially unclear if Bear Grylls would ever walk again. Keep reading…