Dear Hottie Smoking a Cigarette

You are very attractive, but I am not attracted to you. That cigarette in your hand ruined it for me.

It’s not about the smell, I can get over that. It’s not even about the reflection upon your intelligence, although it certainly doesn’t help.

It’s about the future. How are we going to build a better tomorrow when you are so short sighted?

It’s about inspiration. How are you going to inspire me to be a better man when you settle for blatant imperfections?

It’s about respect. How am I supposed to respect you when you don’t even respect yourself?

 


Photo: quicheisinsane

Smart People Are Dumb Too

Lately something has been bothering me – why are smart people so dumb? What is it with the focus on careers, working 60, 70, 80 hour weeks for money they don’t need? Don’t they realize money is worthless without the time to spend it? Don’t they realize the opportunity cost? Life is passing them by, yet it is often enjoyed by dumber people with less money!

If they are so smart, they should simply figure out what will make them happy and their life a success. Instead, the smartest of the smart receive an elite education and quickly get funneled into jobs with vague titles like “consultant”, “investor”, or “capitalist”. They receive promotions, make buttloads of money, and surround themselves with luxuries. These people fall into two categories: those that justify their behavior and those that don’t think about it.

Justify

Some people are happy working 80 hours a week and truly believe it is what they want. To them I say – show me just one person on his death bed that wishes he had spent more time in the office. Even those who did very meaningful work, helping others, providing for a family, realize just how valuable that time is when it is gone. There is more to life.

Some people try to front load their careers, thinking, if I can just last in this job until I’m 35, I’ll have enough money to be set for life. That is a slippery slope and quite a sacrifice. If you don’t walk away when you are on the bottom, what makes you think you’ll walk away when you are on top, making even more per year? After sacrificing your youth and damaging countless relationships, how enjoyable will your retirement be?

Even worse is the feeling of entitlement – “I have worked hard my entire life and I’m incredibly smart. I deserve to make $150k, drive a BMW, and be the envy of my neighbors.” Ew. You are not entitled to anything, I’m sure there are others that work just as hard at the bottom of the totem pole. Quit justifying your lavish behavior and start appreciating the fact that the best things in life are free.

Don’t Think

I believe most smart people don’t think about happiness and the definition of a successful life. They just put their head down and devote the majority of their time to kicking ass at their job – have they even thought about what is at the end of that road? Is it really what they want?

These are important questions, but they are rarely even considered. Why does this happen? The people that go to elite universities are overachievers. They grew up smarter than their peers and likely dominated in a number of other areas. For whatever reason, they love to win, and their career is the most obvious way to dominate in adult life.

When people who have a high need for achievement … have an extra half hour of time or an extra ounce of energy, they’ll unconsciously allocate it to activities that yield the most tangible accomplishments. And our careers provide the most concrete evidence that we’re moving forward. You ship a product, finish a design, complete a presentation, close a sale, teach a class, publish a paper, get paid, get promoted. In contrast, investing time and energy in your relationship with your spouse and children typically doesn’t offer that same immediate sense of achievement. Kids misbehave every day. It’s really not until 20 years down the road that you can put your hands on your hips and say, “I raised a good son or a good daughter.” You can neglect your relationship with your spouse, and on a day-to-day basis, it doesn’t seem as if things are deteriorating. People who are driven to excel have this unconscious propensity to underinvest in their families and overinvest in their careers—even though intimate and loving relationships with their families are the most powerful and enduring source of happiness.

                      Harvard Business Review – How Will You Measure Your Life

The tradeoffs are very subtle. Bob Barker is not going to present you with two Showcase Showdowns and ask which one you want. It’s a gradual process built up by hundreds of daily micro-decisions stacked up over years. In fact, no individual decision is even multiple choice. Smart people prove to be just as capable at ignoring the innumerable options as dumb people.

Social Pressures

If only it were as easy as identifying all the possible choices and making the correct decision – there are external pressures in play as well. Many smart people spend the first quarter of their life in school, showing exactly how awesome they are. An elite education provides the opportunity for a wonderful career, something largely beyond the grasp of the general populace. In fact, not only do you have this opportunity, it is expected of you to capitalize on it. The majority of your drinking buddies from school move on to big things in the working world, providing a comparison pressure. You don’t want to let down the family that sacrificed to give you the opportunity. Many high school friends, and all those less fortunate, would kill to be in your position, how can you throw that away? It’s a good thing most of them will never have to grapple with these questions!

A Less Fulfilling Life

These forces add up and result in a less than fulfilling life for many of the smartest people in our great country. It is a shame. They take the sure thing (career), misallocate their time, and don’t consider the other options. But I don’t blame them. If you knew you can make over $100k per year just by putting in the time, had everything your heart could desire, and were the envy of those around you, would you turn that down on the off chance that you could look back on your life and deem it time well spent?


Photo: Street art by Bansky. Picture by Chris Devers

Happiness, Blogging, and Idiots

Happiness

I have been in a rut recently. Don’t worry, nothing to worry about too much, just not as happy-go-lucky as I am normally. Despite some great times and surrounding myself with wonderful people, I’ve been returning to a baseline that is simply not where it should be. My plan is to purposefully over-correct – check back for updates in this area.

Blogging

You may have noticed I have been blogging less recently. This isn’t a conscious effort or because I have been abnormally busy, rather it appears to be a lack of inspiration. Less crazy ideas are popping into my head, and the ones that are aren’t being acted upon. Heck, even the few posts that I have started sit unfinished.

Idiots

Less blogging and less happiness? Sounds like blogging leads to happiness. Or if not, happiness causes people to blog. Wrong, that’s what idiots would say. Data geeks will quickly let you know that correlation does not imply causation. What do you think, is there any causation here? Does it flow both ways, and if so, are there limits or will it just continue to snowball until I’m spending every minute blogging and loving it?

 


 
Along with the over-correction in happiness, I’d also like to over-correct in my return to blogging. Just hang tight!

Something else for the data geeks to check out – Uberdata: How prostitution and alcohol make Uber better

Photo: D. Sharon Pruitt

Everyone Hates Traffic, But What is Being Done About it?

Cars as far as the eye can see, you roll forward 10 feet and stop right on the car’s bumper in front of you. As you approach 15 minutes straight with various degrees of pressure on your brakes, you finally snap – “F@RT!” We have all been there. No one likes traffic, some people just deal with it better than others – for the 58% of Americans that live in large cities, it is a real problem. In my lifetime it seems like not much has been done to fix it – maybe make a new lane here, add a stoplight there, but nothing game changing. Is this all we can do?

Back in high school my friend Tony and I sat in traffic a lot as we had over an hour drive to the other side of LA for our club volleyball practice. He pondered “what if everyone who is sitting in traffic only thought about ways to solve traffic? Would we find a solution?” I’m not sure, but I do know it is a problem worth solving – millions of productive person-hours are wasted in cities across the world by needlessly sitting in cars that aren’t moving.

The hillbillies will say “how about you just move out of the city? If we just make smaller cities we don’t have this problem.” Bad solution – cities lower pollution, raise production, result in higher pay, have more culture, and encourage ambition. So back to the drawing board. Keep reading…

Richard Branson vs. the Pilots Union

Richard Branson is the man (not quite all that is man, but he may make the cut someday). Earlier this week he wrote a letter to all the Virgin Atlantic pilots that are threatening to go on strike. The reason for the strike? The union isn’t happy with a 4% pay raise after a 3 year pay freeze. Richard isn’t the CEO or even involved in running the business anymore, but he is stepping in to try to save his baby.

First, he took an objective look at the company to see if the offer is fair:

In the last week I have spent a lot of time trying to understand whether the management team at the airline has treated everyone fairly and whether the company can afford to go further with its pay offer.

Then he offers to share the information with them that led him to believe it is a fair offer and the best that can be extended:

The management have told me they are happy to share up to date corporate accounts with your union so they can understand the financial context from where the offer has been made. As shareholders we’ve also got to ensure the airline is strong enough to withstand the many challenges it faces in this constantly changing market.

Keep reading …

I Lost Another Word from my Vocabulary this Week

My recent post about removing the words “tired” and “busy” from my vocabulary generated a lot of discussion. Some people thought it was a terrific idea. Some were worried that they might not make the cut and would be subject to a blunt reason why I didn’t want to hang out, rather than being “busy”. And my roommates just wanted to trick me into saying one of the words. Well today I want to remove another word from my vocabulary, as well as a general theme from my conversations.

A story

Once again we are going to start with a story. On Wednesday I was sitting at my desk at work and had to listen to the same conversation several times. Usually when this happens to me it is because a very good friend has a hilarious story that has to be shared every time we hang out with someone new. That I don’t mind, but the story repetitively told at work was not something I wanted to hear while attempting to focus.

What was the conversation?

One of my colleagues started doing Crossfit, the daily total body workouts posted on the internet. It really gave him something to talk about with the other people in the office who do Crossfit. Unfortunately he talked to them one at a time and I had to listen each time. Once distracted from my work, my mind began to wander …

Removing the word “sore”

I realized something that day – no one really cares to hear about how sore you are because of the awesome workout you did. That is not exciting and should never come out of your mouth. There are two possible reasons you could be using that word: either as an excuse or to show how hardcore you are. Neither is a good reason.

No longer talking about workouts?

My friend Preston is jacked. He heads to the gym at an ungodly hour every morning to lift heavy weights with insane intensity. But he rarely talks about his workouts – he is more likely to talk about the yogalaties class going on at the same time. If he doesn’t talk about those impressive workouts, I have no reason to talk about whatever light weights I’m lifting.

Conclusion

You get value out of working out by feeling better, looking better, and living longer. You don’t need any social validation that you are indeed working hard and a badass. People that need social validation are weak – are you weak?
 


 
To explain going to bed early or taking a nap, I have used “underslept” rather than “tired”. This works well because it is a fact rather than feeling.

Photo: Greg Westfall

The Day I Lost Two Words from My Vocabulary

My vocabulary is shrinking. I know what you are thinking – the answer is no, I didn’t just take the SAT and then forget everything. This is self-imposed shrinkage.

First a story

I remember a time when I was fairly young that we went on a hike. It must have been pretty long because I made a lot of comments like “we still have a long way to go”, pretty hot because I made many comments like “it sure is hot”, and a pretty big mountain because I made multiple comments like “wow this is steep”. I wasn’t whining, just saying aloud the things that went through my brain.

Fast forward a few hours – once back home we triumphantly retold of our conquest of the mountain. But the stories that I heard from the others did not match my memory of the event! They claimed that I was complaining the whole time. Did I think I was complaining at all? Nope. Just observing. Facts. Turns out that my intention did not match the perception of those around me.

How is this relevant at all Brian?

Today I am attempting to drop two words from my vocabulary: BUSY and TIRED. Attempting? Nay, RIPPING OUT WITH MY TEETH!

These words are great for making excuses. Excuses are a crutch. You know why I’m not drinking tonight? I want to get a good night sleep to enjoy tomorrow morning. You know why we haven’t hung out? I value the other activities in my life more. Straight up. Of course I won’t always provide those answers when asked, but it means that I won’t convince myself that it is because I am tired or busy.

My fear is that anytime I claim to be busy or tired it is going to be perceived as complaining. Couldn’t be farther from the truth. The reason I’m busy is because there are a lot of great people in my life and a lot of things I want to do while I’m here. The reason I’m tired is because I occasionally try to push my limits.

Fake it till you make it

Once I stop saying these words out loud, it is only a matter of time before I stop even thinking them in my head. When I no longer consider being busy or tired an excuse, I have arrived at my goal: to evaluate decisions honestly. No more lying to myself.

Keep reading…

What is the Largest Advancement in Non-Electric Technology Over the Last 10 Years?

From the hilarious Seinfeld episode “The Face Painter”:

George: We discussed toilet paper.

Jerry: Toilet paper?

George: Yeah, I told her how toilet paper hasn’t changed in my lifetime, and probably wouldn’t change in the next fifty thousand years and she was fascinated, fascinated!

Jerry: What are you talking about?

Elaine: Yeah.

Jerry: Toilet paper’s changed.

Elaine: Yeah.

Jerry: It’s softer.

Elaine: Softer.

Jerry: More sheets per roll

Elaine: Sheets.

Jerry: Comes in a wide variety of colors.

Elaine: Colors.

George: Ok, ok, fine! It’s changed, it’s not really the point. Anyway, I’m thinking of making a big move.

It is obvious that computers have improved over the last ten years. Similarly, pretty much everything electric contains a tiny computer chip and has made tremendous strides. But what are the largest advancements made to non-electric technology? The boring items that you (like George) thought never improved?

My answer is protein powder. It was exactly 10 years ago I started taking it for the first time, and boy was it disgusting! No matter what flavor you had (limited to just chocolate, vanilla, and strawberry) it had a similar chalky taste. Even worse was the consistency – when mixed with water the powder would remain in chunks and practically require chewing on the way down.

Today, only 10 years later, protein powder is a delicacy. The taste is comparable to any fast food milk shake, but somehow with only one gram of sugar. The powder dissolves in water with only a light shaking – 10 years ago you couldn’t even achieve these results with a powerful blender. Simply shocking advances! What would you point to as the largest non-electric technology advancement over the last 10 years?
 


 
Want some ideas? How about an iron? Maybe golf balls? Yo-yos?

The same but different – what non-electric items will never change and are the best they will ever be?

Samsonite and Jumping the Shark

Pop culture references are fun. They let you express yourself with minimal effort, kind of like Facebook. They can be dorky, funny, or cool, but they can also be clever. Do you quote Star Trek, Seinfeld, or Shakespeare? Are you someone that drops obscure references without expecting anyone else to understand? Can you make an original joke or are they all derived from something you’ve heard before in a movie or TV show?

Beyond simply dropping quotes into conversations, I enjoy idioms – a phrase with a different meaning than the literal words (think “back seat driver”, “flip the bird”, or “kick the bucket”). One of my favorite idioms that is widely used is “jump the shark.” The phrase comes from the show Happy Days way back on September 20th, 1977 – 30 million viewers tuned in to watch the third part of the opening episode in season five. Why is this episode so memorable? Fonzie actually water-ski jumps over a live shark to prove his braveness, wearing his leather jacket the whole time of course.

What does the idiom mean? It is the point when a television series reaches the point of no return – it has lost its original magic and tries to recapture the spark through increasingly absurd story lines. It happens to just about every long running TV show, can you think of any “jump the shark” moments in the shows you watch?

Here is my real question for you – is it socially acceptable to make up idioms based on pop culture? Keep reading…

Fan Fiction is Fascinating, But What About Fan Non-Fiction?

Fan fiction is an absolutely fascinating cultural phenomenon. These are the people that sit down and write anywhere from a chapter to multiple books in the world crafted by an existing fictional work. When they can make any world they can possibly imagine, why would they limit themselves to a world they previously read about? Sure, I can understand how a few people could be into this, there are some ridiculous hobbies out there. But it is much bigger than that. Way bigger. Prepare to have your mind blown.

Harry Potter is by far the most popular book world for extension into fan fiction and fanfiction.net is the most popular site for “authors” to post their stories. So let’s check out their HP section. There are over a half million stories in over 20 languages! But taking a closer look, many of these are not short stories involving a character or two. They are full on books even longer than the original Harry Potter books!

There are 1,084,170 words in the Harry Potter series by J.K. Rowling spread over 7 books. If we define a book as over 100,000 words (similar in size to the first couple HP books), there are over 4,000 on fanfiction.net in English alone! And 62 of those are longer than half of the entire series. Can’t get enough Harry Potter? Don’t worry, there’s plenty more out there for you to check out.

What else is fascinating? Most authors of fan fiction release chapters as they write them. I am intrigued by this way of releasing written material – in yesteryear this is how most fiction was done. Ok, maybe not as it was written, but released by chapter. For example, Great Expectations by Charles Dickens was originally published in 36 weekly installments. Only a year later was it condensed into three books. Publishers take note: this could target a larger market – anyone and everyone can read a chapter a week but a full book seems so daunting. Oh, and it gives you the opportunity to earn more money from the biggest fans. In order to get the book ahead of everyone else, you have to buy it in 36 parts that will cost more than if you just waited a year. Brilliant!

Keep reading…